Film Flare

41 (Film Diary 19: 21/05/2012 - 27/05/2012)

Another fine morning to the lot of you.

 

It's a very exciting day for me. The end of an era approaches. Return of the Jedi, Return of the King and now the final piece in a very special ongoing trilogy, Return of the Seagal.

Bosh!

 

Last time we laid our merry peepers on Steven Seagal, it was not looking good. Both Under Siege 2 and The Glimmer Man both failed to live up to my expectations and I would mention Executive Decision but Seagal is only in that film for about two minutes of screen time. Can the final two films in his oeuvre turn this around?

 

Fire Down Below (1997)

 

No. Simply put.

This is genuinly one of the worst films I have seen for a long long time, and unlike Under Siege 2 is bypasses 'comedy-bad' and nosedives headfirst into Dante's Inferno bad, that's bad!

Seagal plays an EPA agent who goes undercover in Kentucky to try and find out who is dumping toxic waste in the mines. However this takes very little of the actual story to uncover. Most of the film is oddly scripted meetings with the locals, Seagal doing oddjobs for the local church and there's a scene where Seagal plays the guitar with some country singer...it's a jaw dropping moment that made me wish an abandoned mine would open up under my feet and swallow me.

So the plot is dragged out far too thin, which is bizarre because Seagal's EPA friend got murdured in the beginning of the film, something which has remarkably little impact on either characters or the plot. Another bizarre point was Seagal's volunteering in the town where he could see and was told about light in the hills, just go to the hills, investigate, fight some guards. Gah! The film irked me with its dragging of the core plot. 

Seagal actually also falls in love in this film, seriously. With the sister of a villain. It is not helped by the script, the acting and dialogue, all of which reminded me of a less-good Deliverance, a reference which is dropped in the film itself. 

I wish I could find positives with this film, I'll watch krud films and find at least one point to impress. This was a rare film, inhabited by such cinematic catastrophies as Starshit Troopers 2 where I cannot find a positive. I truly cannot. I wish I could say the action scenes and martial arts were good but that would be a lie, I wish I could even say it was so bad it was funny but after the hilarity that was Under Siege 2, it can't even live up to that.

This is the lowest point of Seagal's career in my eyes.

 

Trailer:

 

 

 

Exit Wounds (2001)

 

Now this is more like it. Producer Joel Silver and director Andrzej Bartkowiak give Seagal his best film yet. At worst, it is tied with Under Siege but the style of film's like Romeo Must Die give Seagal an edge that had not had for the previous 7 or 8 years in film. 

 

The mesh of martial arts and hip hop is not a new phenomenon but the past 90s, early 2000s saw a revival in the mix with starts like Jet Li, Aaliyah and Anthony Anderson filling the rosters. This film joins alongside those ranks and thanks to a reasonable script and crackling direction, it ranks easily one of the better action films I've seen.

DMX fills the soundtrack but also showcases a talent for his character, providing a level of sympathy as well as action talent during the fights. The fights are overall of a very high standard, actually seeming to let Seagal loose on a group of people. They may end up a little too slick and edited but overall they are extremely satisfying and it is also nice to see Seagal kick some arse properly after the lacklustre previous films. 

 

The plot actually makes some sense because it is not too complex, the plot twists there may be are obvious and not too stupid so instead of having huge plot holes, the film's focus is on the characters, their intereactions and showcasing Seagal's abilities, which has not really diminished.

 

Overall, it was nice to write something overall positive about a Steven Seagal film and whilst it is not the best film out there by any stretch of the imagination, it is nice to see that with the right Director/Producer/ScriptWriter/Editor, you can make Seagal look mean and fight well.

 

Trailer:

  

 

Coming up this week, my Seagal thesis. Keep watching the skies!

40 (Film Diary 18: 14/05/2012 - 20/05/2012

Happy Monday to the lot of you.

 

It's been an action packed week this week, quite literally. Seagal season continues!

A mixed series of blessings however because whilst he's still punching and kicking (and shooting) any thing with two legs and a groin between the two, the films themselves show a...ahem...rapid descent from the giddy heights of Under Siege.

The late 90s was not a good time for Steven Seagal films, let's put it that way. 

 

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Seagal returns as Casey Ryback, SEAL turned cook. Oddly enough, apart from the same character, there is almost no mention of the first film, there's none of Die Hard 2's 'How can the same stuff happen to the same guy twice?' going on here.

But instead of a battleship being seized by hostages it is a train, as the poster above makes plain as day. This time, instead of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey crazy-ing it up as the villains, you have a computer hacker and his mercenaries using the train to take control of an awesome weapons satellite. I'm not going to give a spoiler alert warning this time because if you're worried about me spoiling the 'plot' of this film, you're watching the wrong film.

So whilst the set up is similar (mode of transport aside), we have added into the mix Ryback's neice, played by Katherine Heigl.  Whilst she is not given much to do, Heigl does stand out as one of the better performers in this film. The villains (as I said earlier) pale in comparison with the baddies of the first film and there is none of the menace or cunning. Instead you have the writers stretching the bounds of plausibility to stretch Seagal's game of hide-and-seek over nearly 100 minutes.

 Needless to say, this is one of the worst film I've seen in a long, long time. It is so bad it is hilarious. Some of the particulars of the plot caused me to break out into rich peals of laughter like the merry bell I am. One particular line 'Oh my god! An earthquake....in midair.' (DURRRRRRR!) was a standout as was the delaying of the terrorist's plans as an investment banker wants to pay $110 million dollars to explode an airliner carrying his ex-wife. It is baffling! Amusing but baffling, no one told me this film was a comedy.

 

Trailer:

  

 

The Glimmer Man (1996)

I was told that this film was an action comedy, the blurb on the back specifically made reference to 'punches mixed with punchlines' and the Pulitzer Prize winning 'the wit hits the fan'.

What I actually got was a very large, rusted nail heavily thumped into Seagal's credibility. This coming from the guy who'd watch Under Siege 2 several days earlier.

The Glimmer Man is ACTUALLY an action-thriller film about two cops trying to find a serial killer called the Family Man because he kills and crucifies whole families, what a hoot! Add in a dash of political intrigued, Vietnam veterans and conspiricy and you have a flop.

The problem with this film is that the gunfights are handled relatively well but the fist fights (Seagal's selling point) is so rapidly edited that you only ever see about two kick strung together before the footage cuts elsewhere. Watching classics martial arts films (I'm thinking Bruce Lee/Donnie Yen films here) is that the editing and filming actually shows off the skills of the fighters on display. That is not present in the Glimmer Man, 

So what you eventually have with this action comedy is a film that has very little comedy and the action is badly done. Not all is bad however, the plot is actually fairly reasonable and there are plenty of twists and turns that somehow command your attention and there is quite a lot of potential there but you somehow end up with a hugely forgettable film. 

 

Trailer:

 

 

 

Executive Decision (1996)

If you notice a lack of a particular creased face on the DVD cover, your eyes work 100%. Even though this film was in a Steven Seagal boxed set, Seagal himself only appears for a totla of about 5 to 10 minutes before he's bumped off. 

It's a sad sight in a boxed set when a film in it hardly contains you.

Yet, thankfully, Kurt Russell is there to save the day, both in terms of the film's plot and acting talents. This ends up being on of the better 'Seagal' films, almost there with Under Siege (1, not 2).

 

I'm going to leave the review there because I don't consider it a Seagal film. It's a passable evening's entertainment though. 

Trailer:

 

  

 

 

IN OTHER NEWS:

James Bond Skyfall trailer is out!

 

 

I literally cannot WAIT!

39 - In Other News ep. 2

Die Hard

If you have a frontal lobe and two brain to rub together to create a spark of intelligence, then you will know that Die Hard is a series of films that have been exciting and entertaining us for the past twenty four years.  The most recent film, Die Hard 4.0 (also known as Live Free or Die Hard) was released in 2007 and showed everyone that there was life in the old white vest yet.

So, with a tentative and vague release date of 2013, Bruce Willis will be returning to our screens as the classic everyman actionman man John McClane for 'A Good Day to Die Hard'.

There have only been the most threadbare of details regarding the film's plot so far but so far it looks like John McClane and his son will be travelling to Russia. Rumours are that Cole Hauser is playing a villainous role (what else?) and that Spartacus: Blood and Sand actor Jai Courtney is taking the role of McClane's son.

 

 Robert Rodriguez

Two new posters released for two films he's releasing most likely next year are causing a stir.

 

Machete Kills

The sequel to 2010's most outlandish and violent film starring the most scarred and grizzled Mexican (Danny Trejo) is in the works under the charmingly titled Machete Kills.

Machete was hugely over the top, violent, sleazy and nasty even compared with the slew of modern exploitation films. Featuring a who's-who of actors of yesteryear, it was a guilty pleasure which didn't quite reach the expectations I had hoped it would.

However, after making over 4 times its budget, there was no doubt that when Rodriguez had the time, he would be looking to make a new Machete film and here it is. With no set release date, plot or cast (apart from Trejo), it may be a while before we see the details trickle through to us.

 

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

The sequel to the 2005 film and all round stylistic masterpiece looks to be coming out sometime next year (finally) and if the poster is anything to go by, it looks to mirror the fantastic style of the first film.

Wow! 

 

Trailer Watch

Ruben Fleischer looks to be directing a fantastic cast with a lot of flair in this trailer for The Gangster Squad, set for release on 7th November (not sure about the choice of music though):

 

 

38 (Film Diary 17: 07/05/2012 - 13/05/2012)

All of the films I've watched this week have a theme.

That theme is Steven Seagal. 

 

 

The reason for this being that over the weekend, a discussion took place as to what martial arts film we wanted to watch (being in the mood for martial arts). After deliberating the classics, Enter the Dragon, Fist of Fury, Game of Death, Way of the Dragon, Ip Man 1 and 2 etc etc, we decided to see what either we could rent online or purchase.

We ended up with a Steven Seagal boxed set.....and we started from the beginning.

 

 

Nico: Above the Law (1988)

See that face? That's a 'not screwing around' face and Seagal wears it for pretty much the entire film. This early on in his career, Seagal has not mastered emotion or facial expressions beyond 'serene', 'angry' and 'concentrating'. Luckily, the film attempts to bypass the leading role's lack of acting talent by placing as many humanoids in his way for him to punch, kick, throw and shoot. 

With a script that is so far into parody it makes Black Dynamite look like a subtle treatise on inter-race relations, it is surprising that the film started up a career considering action films by 1988 had produced some stone cold action classics (Die Hard, Predator). The inclusion of FBI bigwigs, Vietnam buddies, mafia connections and terrible, terrible clothes means that this film is frankly laughable at several opportunities and only means to be funny less than half of the time. Sharon Stone stars as Seagal's wife and is easily the best acting talent in the film, no contest. Add to this ol' Foxy Brown herself Pam Grier in an underwritten role (she's an action star in her own right) and you have a reasonably enjoyable film.

 

This film's attempt to introduce Steven Seagal as a new martial arts star works fairly well, it gives descriptions of the character's martial arts prowess which oddly mirror Seagal's own. It is strange then that there is remarkably little martial arts in the film, there's a lot of shooting and foot chases and car chases but considering I was expecting a 'martial arts' film, I was hoping Seagal would have had more akido to do.

 

All in all, not a good film.

Not a good film at all. It is interesting (and a little odd) that Seagal became the action star some of us know and love today off the back of this vehicle. 

 

 

 

 

Out for Justice (1991)

Aww, they don't mess around with these films titles do they? There's none of this '2001: A Space Odyssey' nonsense going on here. Steven Seagal is 'Out For Justice', need you know more?

 

The reason Seagal is 'Out For Justice' in this film is because his childhood friend, Bobby Lupo got shot in front of his family by one time friend now turned enemy, Richie Madano. The name of Seagal's character is Gino Felino and at one point Gino tells a story about his uncle Pino.....Pino Felino. These are all true. Honest.

Unlike Nico, the reason this film instantly gets a better score in my eyes is that there is a damn good fight scene in this film. Seagal vs Dive Bar. One man enters, one man leaves. Unlike a lot of flashier martial arts, Seagal isn't about looking good, he's about breaking limbs and throwing people about the place and he does it very well. Actually this fight is the film's highlight because the final fight scene is so implausibly one sided, it is funny to watch Seagal spend the best part of five minutes beating up some overweight guy. 

 

The overweight guy in question is William Forsythe, who I only recognise as the gravel voiced sheriff in The Devil's Rejects but here looks like a psychotic child, shooting people for no reason and being menacing and unpleasant to everyone he meets. Needless to say, Seagal and his mob connections are back to find Richie and make him pay. Seagal is on better form here, both with the fighting and the acting but the film still is bordering on self-parody, but without knowing it. A particular highlight is near the beginning when the opening credits begin, the camera freeze frames of Seagal's face through a broken car window that he'd just thrown a pimp through. It's funny and again, it doesn't mean to be a lot of the time.

 

However, the story in this is a lot less complex than Nico. It's too simple. It's 'Where's Richie?' and then they find him and they fight. Where Nico started to add in crazy plot twists to appear clever, Out For Justice is almost brain dead. There surely must be a healthy medium.

 

Trailer:

 

 

 

Under Siege (1992)

Aww, they don't mess around with these films titles do they? There's none of this 'Citizen Kane' nonsense going on here. Steven Seagal is 'Under Seige', need you know more?

 

Well, this film is the height of Seagal's career. The best film he has ever done.....fact!

Playing Casey Ryback, the ship's cook, Seagal brings a level of charm, charisma and action man can-do attitude to this film. Aided, of course by beautifully OTT villains, played by the unholy trinity of Tommy Lee Jones, Gary 'Insane in the membrane' Busey and Colm 'DS9' Meaney, they all chew the scenary until their mouths are full. Gary Busey especially excels as the charmless and dangerous Commander Krill (Busey in drag is a scene that highlights his frame of mind).

The director, Andrew Davis (who also directed Nico) directs this film with flair and style and commands a not terrible cast to perform well with a run of the mill script. The story is a simple, terrorist highjacking narrative but it is elevated with a cheeky humour, nice little one liners and characters fleshed out a little bit more than you would have expected from a film of this type. Once again, the martial arts and gunfights are well done, there is a knife fight towards the end of the film which is just good and there is no shortage of explosions, creative deaths and gunfire to keep the crowd from noticing a number of plot holes.

 

All in all, a good film. Not even a good film compared to the other Steven Seagal films listed here, it is actually a good film if you're in the mood for, and can tolerate, mindless action. 

 

Trailer:

 

 

 

Until next time folks!

 

 

37 - In other news

The 'lines tonight.

 

Avengers Assemble destroys US box office opening weekend record

 

According to conservative reports, over 75% of the population of the western hemisphere have seen the film already, with figures set to increase in the upcoming weeks. With critic's reviews licking the film with praise, it is the positive responses from the regular audience that has been most impressive. One man in his late fourties with brown hair described the film as 'the finest gathering of superhumans since the last supper', an event which if to be believed took place around 30 B.C, two thousand and fourty two years before this film's release. 

It is the projected takings that are even more impressive however. Box office analyst company Figurewatch has given us an exclusive look at a dossier they have created. Analyst Joffrey Baratheon said " If we take the figures so far and ignore them, the potential total worldwide gross for this film could be in the thousands of bajillions, second only to Avatar". Avatar still remains the highest grossing film of all time, several critics suggest this is mainly due to the inflated costs of the 3D tickets. It is rumoured that with the money James Cameron made from Avatar, he has terraformed Venus and renamed it Pandora whilst genetically engineering all of the creatures found in the film. We tried to call Mr Cameron to verify or deny this rumour but he was unobtanium for comment.

 

 

 

Trailer Watch:

The Expendables 2:

  

 

Explosions! Guns! Punches! Kicks!

A frankly jaw dropping cast of action stars from recent times and yester-year assemble for what could be quite good fun. Casting Van Damme as the bad guy is a nice move and having Stallone and Van Damme face off is something that'll be worth the wait. I like how you see JCVD's (as he shall be known) token move, the aerial kick.

Statham and Li are always good to watch. Schwarzenegger and Willis having their cameos in the first film extended looks to be good fun and brings legitimate claim to the potency of the cast list this film has. By the way, cue internet frenzy as Chuck Norris memes are set to return.....sigh.

 

The Amazing Spiderman:

   

Notice the same guitar riff playing in both trailers!

 

Webs! Lizards! Reboot!

The best trailer yet for this film still has it firmly behind Dark Knight Rises and Avengers Assemble in the trinity of 2012's superhero films. It is interesting to me that this is a Sony Pictures film (Columbia Tristar being owned by Sony) and only co-produced by Marvel Studios (much like other Marvel franchises X-Men etc). This means that whilst Spiderman is a Marvel character, we are unlikely to see him in any Marvel Studios film (possibly another Avengers film) unless Sony loses the film rights to Spiderman.

Shame!

 

 

DVD Watch:

 

It is with an odd sense of pride that Mission Impossible: Ghost Recon is released on DVD. The first new film Film Flare reviewed is finally out on DVD and I feel that the circle is complete.

Go back to where it all began!

 

 

 

36 (Film Diary 16: 30/04/12 - 06/05/12)

A warm and hearty hello to you all,

 

Hope this finds you all well.

 

In all truth, I have only watched one film this week. Well, I watched a 2nd but it was the virtuoso 13 Assassins which I have already reviewed here when I was young and brash, and I don't want to put you all through that again.

 

So here it be:

 

The Expendables (2010)

 

With a hilariously titled sequel on the way (Expendables 2, what imagination!), I finally decided to push aside both sets of reviews (it's brilliant/it's shite)  and watch the film myself. 

 

However boring it appears to be, I am placed firmly in the middle. It's an alright film. A guilty pleasure, obviously but not terrible either if you approach it from the right angle. 

So we are back to several action film trappings from the 80s, fictional South American country, large private army of what can only be described as warm bullet holders and a very male-centric world with women mainly in the peripheries. If you've seen films like Commando, it almost identical but with better stunt work. 

In fact, given the reputation of so many of the cast (a reputation the film's success was founded upon), it is reassuring to see the stunts are good. Most of the cast did their own stunt and with Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Jet Li (to name a few), there is more than enough bang for your buck. Add in charmingly throwaway cameos from action classics Willis and Schwarzenegger (a bit unfair since if Die Hard 4 was anything to go on, Willis is STILL an action man), and you have a film that tries to be nostalgic but in doing so highlights just how little the genre has changed.

The script and dialogue is still rubbish, there are still hilariously dubious zoom shots of fists bumps, veined arms and tattoos. Whilst the film and the cast (and story) play to the expectations of an old school action film, it is revealing that it is only really Jason Statham that comes across as a real action hero. He is not a steroid fuelled melted waxwork, or a flesh coloured egg made entirely out of sinew, Statham is (and has always been) the achievable, human, emotional action man and placing him next to MMA stars, NFL stars and 80s action men and he emerges as the film's winner. 

Jet Li is given a criminally small amount of arse to kick, which is a shame because you watch him do his thing and he places almost everyone else in the shade:

  

WARNING! The above clips contains excessive punching and kicking and as such may not be suitable for those of a nervous disposition.

 

What is bizarre is that for all my........elaborate tastes in films, apart from Stallone, Statham, Li, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Lundgren and Austin, the other I had not heard of at all but they more than hold their own against the more familiar names. 

Oh, and the brief time that Mickey Rourke is on the screen is a pleasure. A standout performance.

 

I have no great desire to watch the film again, many of the older films The Expendables tries to homage are better and more inventive and with steadier camera work. The acting, script and story have almost always fallen away with this genre, the emphasis being on fights and explosions and The Expendables delivers on this level, as I expected it to.

I was just hoping that for a modern film to be made in the style of old action films, it would be a bit more clever, more nudge-nudge, wink-wink about the whole affair but the film is played straight the whole way through and since it was directed by Stallone, one of the old school, is that any wonder.

 

Trailer:

 

 

 

35 - New Dark Knight Rises trailer

Dark Knight Rises out July 20th.

God damn.