Audio Flare

In Search Of (Part 2)

Hello there folks.

Today is a rather special day, being one year to the day (29th Sep) that the first post of this blog was...posted. Hooray!

I've burst out the candles, cake, and party hats and now look silly sat in my room with a party hat eating cake on my own. However, I also wish to extend thanks to all of you who have read, commented and enjoyed this blog over the last year.

Only mildly more horrifying than the 'Band of Joy' album cover.

Much like any one year old, Audio Flare has been viewed nearly 5000 times and this is the 61st post.

 

I have a very short wish list for Audio Flare's birthday, here it be:

Obviously, Audio Flare has shown heavy love for London based SBTRKT in the past. At the time that the older posts were written there was nothing set in stone about an E.P.

But this is September 29th!

A SBTRKT E.P is on its way, I cannot contain my excitement at the writing of that. Entitled Step In Shadows and released November time, this upcoming vinyl is released on the shiny Young Turks record label.

Anyways, some tracks have been released from the upcoming E.P and they're simply too damn good to not link you to.

• First off, a brutally good track called 'Hide or Seek'. This piece grows and grows with an atmospheric build and then breaks out a fairly haunting angle. 
• Next up is 'Step In Shadows'. Another atmospheric track, just listen to it. I cannot describe this, it's amazing.
• 'I Look at Stars'. Much like the last track, don't talk, just listen.

 

SBTRKT has also worked with vocalist Jessie Ware on an upcoming collaboration called NMBRS8, combining SBTRKT's quite rare style with Jessie's impressive vocals to create a bizarre mix that works really well, like bacon and marmalade, or soy sauce with honey. Listen to tracks like 'Nervous' to get an idea of what's it about. 

 

 

That is all for now you hungry bunch.

Next musical meal will be shortly, I wouldn't let all of you lovely readers starve now. I really want a marmalade and bacon sandwich now.

 

Until next time.

Audio Flare.

 

A Letter to Jedward

 

    Dear John and Edward (Jedward).

 

I start by saying that I am a huge fan of...

Well, to be fair, I'm not a huge fan of your work. I'm not even a small fan, not even one of those little hand held twatty fans that run on a single A4 battery. The vitriol and spite that will be spewed through this letter some would consider to be entirely deserved, but I have to acknowledge that you appeal to a certain strata of society and I sincerely hope that sanitariums will continue to be the biggest buyers of your music.

 

However, it must be said that your album, entitled 'Planet Jedward' is composed entirely of covers, ranging from 'Under Pressure' and 'All the Small Things' so I cannot pass judgement on any kind of writing style. However, judging from what material I have heard so far, I can only assume that you are secret audio assassins, or possibly that music murdered your family and you have a plan to murder music in revenge. Covers of songs from bands like Robbie Williams and The Beastie Boys (Honest! Look it up!) show a willingness to try different types of music which is admirable but the only analogy I can muster is that of Blind Pew trying his hand at different styles of art, both his Abstract Expressionism and his New Romantic styles will be weak.

 

In essence Jedward, what I am trying to say is that you should try your hand at your own music and we will see how good you really are. I don't hold my breath, but you should, for quite a while.

 

Love and kisses,

Audio Flare

A Letter to Lupe Fiasco

 

    Dear Mr Fiasco,

 

I start be mentioning that the vitriol and the spite that will be spewed through this letter is certainly disproportionate to the offense that you are committing. (This should be an Audio Flare disclaimer from this point onwards). My day is not as bad as yesterday but this letter still remains an act of catharsis, much like simulated violence or releasing animals from the zoo.

 

It must be said that I am a huge fan of your work, Food and Liquor is a fine album and The Cool is even better. Both albums are admirable displays of your musical and lyrical talent, songs simultaneously smooth, catchy, confrontational and thought provoking. Credit where credit is due, no one is denying your skills, that is not where the subject of this letter is heading towards. 

 

 

No, instead the gripe leveling your way is a simple one. Your consistent referring to how cool or uncool you are. From songs like 'The Cool', to albums like 'The Cool', songs like 'The Coolest', lyrics from songs like 'Fire' and 'Superstar'. The problem here is that you are cool as hell, man. You may not be one of the most famous rappers out there but there are few folks who can rap like you. You don't need to keep on saying you're uncool because you're really not. It's like having Katie Price waving her diploma in your face or Barack Obama always flashing his birth certificate, it's not needed, we know you're cool. 

 

I leave simply by saying that I am very much looking forwards to your new release, Lasers and have very much been enjoying the shiny new song from that album, 'I'm Beamin'. Stay too cool for school Lupe.

 

Peace.

Audio Flare.

 

A Letter to Robert Plant.

 

    Dear Mr Plant,

 

I start by mentioning that the vitriol and spite that will be spewed through this letter is certainly disproportionate to the offense that you have commited. It is purely because I'm having a bad day and this is a cathartic release, much like punching Vernon Kay in the face or shouting randomly at people in the street.

 

It must be said that I am a huge fan of your work, Led Zeppelin is a monolith of musical triumph and your solo work continues that fine tradition. However, I have to walk to work everyday and pass by a Fopp store. So far, so innocous. What is less innocous is the fact that your new album, 'Band of Joy' is on a 'new release' poster in the window and looks like this:

 

My concern is simply to ask; that the cleft fuck is this?

 

For an album called 'Band of Joy', you have created what could only be described as a cover of screaming nightmares. I can only describe the experience of viewing this album cover as beginning to tuck into a delicious meal of burger and chips, only to find out mid-chew that the burger is infact a small dead rodent nailed to a pair of kitchen sponges and the chips are human fingers, all of them giving you the bird.

 

I have no qualms about an album being called 'Band of Joy'. After all, that's a completely reasonable name for an album, some albums have been called 'The Strange Dreams of Paul White' or 'Not.com.mercial' (Thanks Cher!). That's not the issue, the issue is that a more apt album title for that cover would be 'Band of Insanity' or maybe 'We Are Under Your Bed Right Now, There is No Escape'.

 

Please, on behalf of coulrophobics and sane humans worldwide, re-release this album with a cover that looks mildly less like Dante meets William Blake and save our souls. S.O.S Mr Plant. I would be willing to take such an action into account when I review your album, who says reviewers aren't impartial, eh Rob?

 

Yours Sincerely,

Audio Flare.