Happy Monday to the lot of you.
It's been an action packed week this week, quite literally. Seagal season continues!
A mixed series of blessings however because whilst he's still punching and kicking (and shooting) any thing with two legs and a groin between the two, the films themselves show a...ahem...rapid descent from the giddy heights of Under Siege.
The late 90s was not a good time for Steven Seagal films, let's put it that way.
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)
Seagal returns as Casey Ryback, SEAL turned cook. Oddly enough, apart from the same character, there is almost no mention of the first film, there's none of Die Hard 2's 'How can the same stuff happen to the same guy twice?' going on here.
But instead of a battleship being seized by hostages it is a train, as the poster above makes plain as day. This time, instead of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey crazy-ing it up as the villains, you have a computer hacker and his mercenaries using the train to take control of an awesome weapons satellite. I'm not going to give a spoiler alert warning this time because if you're worried about me spoiling the 'plot' of this film, you're watching the wrong film.
So whilst the set up is similar (mode of transport aside), we have added into the mix Ryback's neice, played by Katherine Heigl. Whilst she is not given much to do, Heigl does stand out as one of the better performers in this film. The villains (as I said earlier) pale in comparison with the baddies of the first film and there is none of the menace or cunning. Instead you have the writers stretching the bounds of plausibility to stretch Seagal's game of hide-and-seek over nearly 100 minutes.
Needless to say, this is one of the worst film I've seen in a long, long time. It is so bad it is hilarious. Some of the particulars of the plot caused me to break out into rich peals of laughter like the merry bell I am. One particular line 'Oh my god! An earthquake....in midair.' (DURRRRRRR!) was a standout as was the delaying of the terrorist's plans as an investment banker wants to pay $110 million dollars to explode an airliner carrying his ex-wife. It is baffling! Amusing but baffling, no one told me this film was a comedy.
Trailer:
The Glimmer Man (1996)
I was told that this film was an action comedy, the blurb on the back specifically made reference to 'punches mixed with punchlines' and the Pulitzer Prize winning 'the wit hits the fan'.
What I actually got was a very large, rusted nail heavily thumped into Seagal's credibility. This coming from the guy who'd watch Under Siege 2 several days earlier.
The Glimmer Man is ACTUALLY an action-thriller film about two cops trying to find a serial killer called the Family Man because he kills and crucifies whole families, what a hoot! Add in a dash of political intrigued, Vietnam veterans and conspiricy and you have a flop.
The problem with this film is that the gunfights are handled relatively well but the fist fights (Seagal's selling point) is so rapidly edited that you only ever see about two kick strung together before the footage cuts elsewhere. Watching classics martial arts films (I'm thinking Bruce Lee/Donnie Yen films here) is that the editing and filming actually shows off the skills of the fighters on display. That is not present in the Glimmer Man,
So what you eventually have with this action comedy is a film that has very little comedy and the action is badly done. Not all is bad however, the plot is actually fairly reasonable and there are plenty of twists and turns that somehow command your attention and there is quite a lot of potential there but you somehow end up with a hugely forgettable film.
Trailer:
Executive Decision (1996)
If you notice a lack of a particular creased face on the DVD cover, your eyes work 100%. Even though this film was in a Steven Seagal boxed set, Seagal himself only appears for a totla of about 5 to 10 minutes before he's bumped off.
It's a sad sight in a boxed set when a film in it hardly contains you.
Yet, thankfully, Kurt Russell is there to save the day, both in terms of the film's plot and acting talents. This ends up being on of the better 'Seagal' films, almost there with Under Siege (1, not 2).
I'm going to leave the review there because I don't consider it a Seagal film. It's a passable evening's entertainment though.
Trailer:
IN OTHER NEWS:
James Bond Skyfall trailer is out!
I literally cannot WAIT!